Finally the exorbitant physical pain associated with male-pattern hairloss has been documented by The Onion, a hysterical parody of news media. In a report titled "Male Hairloss is 7 Times More Painful Than Child Birth," the article reported...
"Clinical studies show that as hair gradually separates from the scalp, men experience intensifying waves of all-consuming pain equivalent to having their insides ripped out through the thousands of tiny follicles on their head," said Vincent Kwan, who led the all-male research team that carried out the study. "While strong uterine contractions and tearing of the vaginal walls undoubtedly cause a degree of discomfort among women in labor, balding men would give anything to experience those sensations instead of lying awake and suffering all night as their hair thins."
